Why? - Kempston

 This game starts with green text on a black background, with the single word 'WHY?', instantly this brings back the words of the infamous Agent Smith.

“Why, Mr. Anderson?, Why, why?.Why do you do it? Why, why get up?. Why keep fighting?.Do you believe you're fighting...for something?. For more than your survival?.Can you tell me what it is?.Do you even know?; Is it freedom?, Or truth?.Perhaps peace?. Could it be for love?"

The intro to the games throws out even more why questions.

WHY is there a grid falling from the skies onto the city of  St Scar Taspringyassyar Lakebar?

WHY are there strange monsters running down the grid and killing everyone?

WHY has someone completely unqualified as a heavy gunner like yourself been chosen to defend the place?

WHY are you even reading what an ascii chicken is saying?




The question about why has someone completely unqualified been chosen was particularly apt as I started the game without paying attention to the keyboard layout (O, P and E to fire). As a result, I died swiftly, nevermind I thought 'I'll pay attention when I start again', but the restart throws you straight back into the action. 

After 5 goes of being told I had saved 0 lives and this task was not for me 




I eventually found the fire key and gave the aliens a little payback.


The game itself plays a little like Space Invaders in as much as you are a conical shape at the bottom of the screen constrained to left and right movements only. The aliens however move down the screen zig zagging fairly randomly. They tend to appear in pairs the smaller of the two moving much faster than the larger one. Once one is hit the screen clears and they start again. Going for the larger one became my default strategy.

The screen has a very pleasing layout, dark silhouettes of town blocks flank the central playing grid. The sky is lit with stars. Four coloured squares indicate the number of turns you have left.



The layout of the screen plays well with the Spectrum's legendary colour clash. Being compiled basic the game runs fast (a little too fast?), the biggest issue I came across was the inability to move and fire at the same time. You have to move to a location and then press fire. If you are lucky a laser will strike one of the alien craft and it will burst into ASCII characters with a beep, miss and it will reach the bottom destroying you. After 4 four losses, you are treated to a short beep tune, a screen telling you how many lives you saved, and a ranking.

This task is not for you
You can do better
Not bad for an amateur gunner
People will now believe in you
Now aliens fear your name

Get a maximum score and THE CITY COUNCIL OF St ScarTaspringyassyar Lakebar will bestow great accolades upon you.

Technical Ability - 75%

Being compiled BASIC pushes this one up the scale considerably. Even without being compiled, this would be a pretty slick game, it is difficult, but not impossibly so. Colour is used to a pleasing effect and sound although minimal is used well. Though there is no loading screen, the game doesn't really need one.

Achievement - 5%

This game isn't all that crap, the difficulty level is fairly high due to the keyboard limitations, but it is not impossible and there is a temptation to play again to beat your last score.

Fun - 70%

I enjoyed playing it which can't be said of many of the entries.

Crap Factor - 10%

A failure in the crap department for me. A twist on the Space Invaders theme and is nicely put together.

Roundup

Pros -
  • Good use of UDGs and colour
  • Contains actual gameplay
  • Is completable
Cons -
  • Inability to move and shoot at the same time
  • Intro plays a little too quickly
Remember I play these games so you don't have to. Should you play this game I bear no responsibility for your mental health afterwards. Should the warnings not be enough you can download and play it here.






Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

If you thought 2023 was crap, think again!

Image
Some mornings begin with a headache. Some mornings begin with 'What the hell have I done?' Some mornings begin with a feeling of dread and some mornings combine the whole lot. Such was the morning the email popped slyly into my inbox. It looked so normal, almost innocent, but inside contained the words 'I'm sorry, but I think you might be the loser.' I scratched my head? What had I entered and what had I lost? Suddenly it dawned the Crap Game contest, but how had I lost, my game wasn't too crap, in fact, I had polished it, improved it, and even started to take a little pride in it. Well, that is exactly the way to lose a Crap Game contest. I hadn't read the golden rules  and as a result, had broken most of them. I wasn't alone, looking back over the entries there were some very good games in the mix. Games that had a polish far beyond the Advanced Lawnmower Simulator. Games I would have happily paid 1.99 for at the local newsagent. So far this has been a...
Read more

Advanced Pondering The Orb Simulator - Jim Waterman

Image
To prove I can follow instructions I turned off fast load for this one. "Do not fail to load this at normal speed, though, because I had to use some interesting trickery to get the loading screen to appear in the way I did! And, the chances are, it'll take longer to load overall than it will to see everything in the game." Even at normal speed, it is necessary not to blink. For a brief second a screen with A O P S appears Before blending into the image from the cover of A Spy in Isengard which spawned a multitude of memes around orb pondering. The email promised me "You'll play it once to lose, once again to win, that's your lot.". Since I only read the email before loading I wasn't sure what to do at this point. I poked around at various keys with no result. Maybe this was after all a genuine Niksen simulator? I left it running in the background while performing a couple of chores, suddenly there was a fuzzy crackling and the emulator reset. What th...
Read more

Hard Core Hangman - Jamie Bradbury

Image
Well, this is a surprise, not even officially started the job role and there is an entry in my mailbox. I suspect poor Jamie has a year's worth of pent-up crap to purge. No doubt in a year I'll be in a similar position.  The game needs no explaining, it is Hangman. The game that provided hours of fun as a child, arguing about how many parts the hangman's scaffold should have. My sister always insisted on four, base, upright, arm, and a rope. My friends were more accommodating with extensive bracing and fancy additions. Jamie's version was acc om panied by an email which will help to just the crapness or not of this game. The opening is very promising " This is an adaptation of an example program - think it is in the Spectrum manual.". Stealing someone else's code is a great start on the journey of crapness, but admitting to it? Not so much so. How does this game measure up to the four criteria I'm using to judge. Technical Ingenuity - 75% The game is w...
Read more