If you thought 2023 was crap, think again!

A new Valve game is always cause for excitement. So just last week, the official announcement of the invite-only Beta for Deadlock had the PC gaming folks all excited.  But then on Labor Day, significantly, a more important Valve game arrived to CSSCGC Manor. You can hum the Valve music yourself. Good first impressions from the loading screen - some effort has been expended. It's even got a thrilling tag line that promises 'All the fun of a Valve'. Which, honestly, seems like an achievable goal.  Impressions remain positive through the instructions screen. And you can even set the colour of the Valve! Some games would charge you money or make you open loot boxes for this kind of player skin customisation, but here we have it for free. Take that, Gabe.  But it's here that the truly important nature of the game is first indicated.  We, the players, are to inhabit the person of Barry, who manages the titular valve at the behest of the State. My Barry got a high score, p...

Some entries are accompanied by emails that ramble on at length about the virtues of the attached software, or that go into exquisite technical detail. Some are not and the latest entry falls firmly into the last camp. The crux of Dave Hughes' email was, "Here's another one" That was it, fortunately, the game itself has instructions built in. All quite straightforward, keys O,P and SPACE. I should be able to handle this though after my dismal reactions in Jamie's Art House I'm already worried about maneuvering Tom Cruise at speed, especially a younger Tom Cruise. To prepare myself I google Tom Cruise's running speed, apparently, he claims to have been clocked at 17MPH, the power of the Internet agrees that this is probably true. No Usain Bolt, but a very decent speed. I press SPACE expecting to launch into action, but I needn't worry, there is another screen of explanation.  I have questions, I know a lot is made about Tom Cruise's height, but he i...