Guess the asteroid - ZXKerl

 There was a period before digital downloads when you used to buy a computer game and it would come in a box with a massive manual full of instructions on gameplay. Usually, I got bored early on and tried playing first, falling back to the manual when I couldn't figure things out. 

Some of the entries to this competition have been similar with extensive extra information. Others have preferred to provide instructions in game. This game walks its own path. The accompanying email provides little information about what to expect.

"Attached is GUESS THE ASTEROIDS for the CGC, along with an image of the cassette release. I'm afraid it's not possible to save the Earth. I could have stopped launching asteroids after scoring 70 points, but I guess it's 1982 and the technology wasn't ready to stop such an Armageddon."

But before continuing, let's pause to admire the image of the cassette release or in actuality images.

So many versions and every cover is a delight. This is what made a crap game of the 80's so much more crap. Cover art that had you drooling in anticipation while you forked over your 2.99 and bore no resemblance to the game whatsoever.

In this respect, this game is on a winning track. The accompanying TAP file has no loading screen which is a shame because an excellent cover image and amazing loading screen would have made the first impression of the game itself all the more disappointing.

That is the limit of instructions not even any prompt to press any key to continue. Should you press any key to continue things don't improve.

As you can see, there is a green arrow pointing down at the top of the screen. Every second or so, a red circle appears at the bottom of the screen, and everything shifts up one level. A white square flashes at the bottom left, and after a second, the message x(0-31) appears.

For some people what to do will be obvious, for others like me it will take a minute. The only problem is there isn't a minute to wait. So what is instantly obvious? Clearly, the green arrow is a crap representation of that amazing arrow-shaped ship on the cassette cover. The red circles are the fiery asteroids sans fire. That leaves the bit at the bottom, now I'm not going to ruin the fun by explaining how to play, but by the time I cottoned on the asteroids were halfway to the ship and I was under pressure. This is the shocker, the gameplay is actually quite fun with a genuine feeling of tension as the screen fills with asteroids and you make wrong move after wrong move. There is a sense of satisfaction when you take an asteroid out. Eventually, it goes wrong.

At this point, the game appears to freeze. Once again, there are no instructions on how to play again if you want to play again. For those like me who want another go, the answer is to hit SPACE.

Technical Ability - 5.4%

A few lines of BASIC, zero effort on graphics and presentation, documentation, and lack of sound.

Achievement - 45.5%

This game is crap, but largely down to the complete lack of instructions. It is type-in level at best, but there is gameplay and for me at least there is a temptation to have another go. It is deceptively difficult.

Fun - 65.2%

I played it 4 times in a row and might have played more until I looked out the window and started watching the grass growing.

Crap Factor - 50%

This is crap in a very 80's way. Lots of build-up, early disappointment, but it fails to be completely crap once you get the hang of what you are supposed to do at which point it tiptoes towards being fun.

Roundup

Pros -

• The cassette covers
• A twist of gameplay
• High score

Cons -

• Graphics
• No instructions
• No sound
• No loading screen

Remember I play these games so you don't have to. Should you play this game I bear no responsibility for your mental health afterwards. Should the warnings not be enough you can download and play it here.