BoozeBattle 2024 - Firelord

 The email with this entry opens confidently declaring

"Hello, This is the winning entry for the CSSCGC 2024!"

At this point, I wonder if I should even bother to do a review or just end the contest here. To save protests about rigged results and stolen competitions I'll load it up and check if it is in fact the winning entry.

Like all Firelord productions, it comes with a vast manual and other paperwork which will be included in the download for your pleasure.

Promises made by the promotional blurb include

"- **Epic Showdowns**: Challenge your friends or the unpredictable Spectrum in a battle of wits and libations! Can you outdrink your buddy without going overboard? Only one way to find out!

- **Educational & Fun**: Learn about drinks from around the world while developing your strategic skills. Who knew gaming could be so enlightening? (Disclaimer: May not actually improve your drinking skills!)

- **Vibrant Retro Graphics**: Immerse yourself in a colourful, nostalgic environment that takes you straight back to the golden age of gaming. Flashy colours and quirky animations await!

- **Endless Replayability**: With randomized drink selections and a variety of mini-games, every session is a new adventure. Will you win the round, or will you end up face down in a virtual pile of nachos?"

After loading the game immediately displays its quality using FLASH, however there are two banners which use inverted attributes to raise the epileptic fit inducement levels. 


Helpfully there is a prompt to press any key to continue, a feature that is occasionally sorely lacking. The title page is also a masterclass in alignment and text layout. 

After pressing any key the player is asked if they wish to change names, you get to choose not only your player's name but also your opponent's. 


After this the game provides a helpful overview of its purpose with a light sprinkling of punctuation to help. Then you are into the first round of the game.


I feel compelled to point out that the manual mentions an RGO mode "## Realistic Gaming Option (RGO mode) "Want to amp up the authenticity of your BoozeBattle 2024 experience? You can drink the same beverage you select in the game!", however stocking your drinks cabinet to experience this might be a costly experience and you might need to borrow your parent's ID to make the required purchases.

I start with Sake which appears to be a bad choice.


There is a liberal use of FLASH on this page which I suspect in RGO mode might cause issues later on in the game. Since Ouzo was the winning drink in the last round I try that next. Again I fair badly, interestingly there is no winner in the Body Control category.


At this point, the game's AI decides I need to play a mini-game to regain control. Somewhat pleasingly the control keys are WASD which will delight long-term Spectrum users.


Initially, I suspect I am too drunk to play as something seems decidedly dodgy with the keyboard, but I persist in making my way to the cup of coffee in the middle of the screen while admiring the quality of UDGs.


And I'm on to round 3. My previous strategy hasn't been working so I go for Pisco simply because I have no idea what it is. Another loss for me. Another mini-game, this time I need to make it to the toilet. At this point I notice that I need to press keys several times to move, is it the processing power needed by the onboard AI, a dodgy keyboard loop or time to buy a new Speccy membrane? Eventually, I make it.


Onto round 4, Whiskey time. This proves to be a winning choice, but the rival is in the lead. Round 5 I'm going for Tsipouro. This turns out to be a bad choice. I'm on to round six with no mini-game popping up yet. Baijiu this time. Another winning choice.

This time I'm told my rival is over 46 in Category 4. I don't know what this means but the text is in red so I have to assume it is bad for him (or me).


Seems it was me as the game ends at this point with my rival winning. I'm asked if I wish to play again? Do I/Don't I.

I'm going to end on this cliffhanger (though I will say the mini-game featuring the girl has the most alluring UDG I've seen for many years.)

Technical Ability - 50%

It's BASIC, but a lot of time has gone into putting this together and I'm sure there are hidden depths that I haven't yet discovered. The game not only uses FLASH, but also UDGs. There are nice touches such as the ability to set player names, alternate winning messages, etc.

Achievement - 85%

The seeming lack of a clear winning strategy, the trick with the keys in the minigames and the lack of response to the keypresses in the minigames move this firmly up the crap ladder.

Fun - 7%

Faced with the choice between tooth extraction without painkillers or playing this? My dentist wins any day.

Crap Factor - 75%

Well up in the crap stakes.

Roundup

Pros -
  • UDGs
  • Redefinable user names
Cons -
  • Not actually getting the pleasurable side of drinking while playing
  • Dodgy keypress routine
Remember I play these games so you don't have to. Should you play this game I bear no responsibility for your mental health afterwards. Should the warnings not be enough you can download and play it here.









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