Mona Loser - Jamie Bradbury

 Hot on the heels (well a couple of weeks after, but there is a review backlog) of Orb Pondering comes a game with a very similar concept, but a hint of extra gameplay. 

"I think you have a QL? Well, I made a game for it. But then I thought you'll never manage to run it. Because running anything on a QL is impossible, and the emulator might be £40 or something.

For all these reasons, I converted my game to work on QPC2 - which is free and QL based. So stick the attached files into a random folder on your PC. Set DOS2_ to point to your windows folder location in QPC2 and the LRUN the bas file,"

Because the BASIC listing contains calls specifically for QPC2 it won't run on a real QL or other emulators. It was the first time for me using QPC2 and a fuzzy head from a bout of man flu meant it took far longer than it should have to get the program running. With hindsight, even the fuzzy head is a poor excuse.

Of course, if it is the first time starting QPC2 you will be given the option of TV or Monitor. I prefer the game in split-screen mode as only part of Mona scrolls away. But the choice is yours.

1. Start QPC2

2. Click Devices

3. Click on the folder button next to DOS2 (Annoyingly the CD drive will open itself) and browse to where the game files are held.

4. Click OK and OK

5. Finally type LRUN DOS2_MPLC.BAS

The game now greets you with instructions. Like the Orb Pondering Simulator, you need to click at the right time. Fortunately, there is no need to wait for an indefinite length of time for anything to happen. The beautifully rendered image of the Mona Lisa begins to slide down the screen stopping at random points. As soon as she stops you need to press a key (clicking the mouse button also works)

Depending on whether you click on time or not depends if you get called a Mona Winner or Mona Loser. Apparently, if you get through all the levels you get the praise of being a real Mona Loser. Needless to say, I didn't get this far, 10 levels was my record.

What more to say? 

Technical Ability - 65%

With 43 lines of BASIC the most impressive parts are the knowledge of the QPC calls needed and the conversion of the image. 

Achievement - 85%

First game for the QL in this year's contest, using an image of the Mona Lisa which I take as an attempt to suck up to the host. Writing the game not just once on the QL, but twice converting the original to run on QPC2. Making a game that is middle of the crap road. These are all achievements to be proud of and score a respectable 85%

Fun - 50%

If fun was white this would be a washed-out magnolia. There is always an element of fun in trying to click at the exact right moment and trying to beat your previous best. But like hydrogen-7 it is an element with a short life span.

Crap Factor - 50%

With a surprisingly nice rendering of the Mona Lisa, an element of gameplay and a hint of replayability this is only mildly crap.

Roundup

Pros -

• Mona Lisa
• QL game
• Quickly gets tough

Cons -

• No high score to prove how well you did
• Bare bones game

Remember I play these games so you don't have to. Should you play this game I bear no responsibility for your mental health afterwards. Should the warnings not be enough you can download and play it here.