If you thought 2023 was crap, think again!

To prove I can follow instructions I turned off fast load for this one. "Do not fail to load this at normal speed, though, because I had to use some interesting trickery to get the loading screen to appear in the way I did! And, the chances are, it'll take longer to load overall than it will to see everything in the game." Even at normal speed, it is necessary not to blink. For a brief second a screen with A O P S appears Before blending into the image from the cover of A Spy in Isengard which spawned a multitude of memes around orb pondering. The email promised me "You'll play it once to lose, once again to win, that's your lot.". Since I only read the email before loading I wasn't sure what to do at this point. I poked around at various keys with no result. Maybe this was after all a genuine Niksen simulator? I left it running in the background while performing a couple of chores, suddenly there was a fuzzy crackling and the emulator reset. What th...

 The email doesn't fill me with hope. "My apologies on the lack of red for the circle. It appears Sinclair basic lacks a function to fill a circle. Were it not for that hiccup, this would be complete. as it stands, enjoy." ZEsarUX freezes trying to load the TZX file as a Spectrum file, EightyOne at least gets a little further but not much Life is short so on to the next one. If you want to try your luck the TZX file can be found here .

 Where to start with this one? With the email might be a good start "As a critical asset of our lives, coffee is a mainstay. But if we drink too much...play on. As stated in the REM, I was going to use the Ringo R470 but the keyboard is a nightmare to use." Comments in a REM statement only become useful if you can load the program. My trusty friend Tapir tells me the TZX file is created in Eighty-One so that if the emulator I'm going to use. Loading using Ringo-470 doesn't appear to do anything. ZX81 does nothing, Lambda 8300 at least gives me a semi-listing, but doesn't run TK85, Jupiter Ace, Timex TS1000, and Spectrum 16K, all refuse to load. Time to move on. If you wish to try your hand at playing Guess the correct host computer you can download the file here .

 The accompanying email provides a promising start "Pancakes are taking over the earth, smash them into oblivion" So does it live up to its early promise? Sadly no. The game starts in a familiar fashion by not autorunning.  After running I have Deja Vu, for a moment I think I am back in 'cmpltly awsme bgl simlater'. The screen presents me with a circle and 2 dots.   With no idea what to do I press a key. A small UDG appears presumably a pancake smasher. From then on I get inputs which I seem to be able to type anything into and the program progresses via mournful beeping to being told I have smashed 3 pancakes. Whatever I enter the game resets. Technical Ability - 8.1% The program listing is a mystery, lines 20 to 60 are superfluous, and line 146 gives me 2 chances to end the game without even starting. There is no game just a series of empty inputs leading me towards the end. Achievement - 2.9% It runs and does something. Fun - 7% I enjoyed 2 minutes of reading the l...