Level Up - jj52

I'm beginning to think there should be an award for the tersest email accompanying an entry. If so this entry would be a serious contender.

"Enjoy the game.
Have a colorful 2024"

Attached to the email was a TZX file called Level Up 48K. So far not too much to go on, so I loaded it up. One blink later and it was done, so fairly short. Even better the screen looked like this


So no autorun. At this point there are only two real options LIST or RUN. Naturally, I listed the contents, 11 lines of basic. Normally I would hesitate to show the code here to avoid ruining the pleasure of listing it yourself. But the content will be easy enough to guess from the rest of this review.


Bonus points will be awarded for not turning off the green paper. The game (can it be called a game?) seems to be a sad reflection of mankind's current progress. At least with the first crap game you got to press M, there was a goal of sorts to mow a lawn. There was even some level of graphics. Not so here in this goalless production.



Pressing A displays the message Level Up with green paper backing, but it is overwritten before you can read it. Despite being told there is no score a randomised score appears. Despite being told to press A, any other key will also give you a score, just not a flash of green message. Despite being the implication that the game is 48K it also runs very happily on a 16K Spectrum. Despite calling itself a game it contains no gameplay. The most interesting thing about this game is the fact there are two versions on the TZX, the other is only 6 lines of basic and uses lowercase 'a', and yet is moderately more exciting.

Technical Ability - 11.2%

It is BASIC, it runs. It does something.

Achievement - 2.2%

I am totally at a loss as to what the aim was in order to measure its achievement. If I take the blurb on screen, then pressing A does indeed print (very briefly) Level Up, but there is a score displayed despite being told there isn't.

Fun - 1%

No.

Crap Factor - 93.1%

I hesitate to label this as a game, but it is certainly crap.

Roundup

Pros -
  • Didn't crash.
Cons -
  • Everything else that wasn't a crash.
Remember I play these games so you don't have to. Should you play this game I bear no responsibility for your mental health afterwards. Should the warnings not be enough you can download and play it here.





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

If you thought 2023 was crap, think again!

Image
Some mornings begin with a headache. Some mornings begin with 'What the hell have I done?' Some mornings begin with a feeling of dread and some mornings combine the whole lot. Such was the morning the email popped slyly into my inbox. It looked so normal, almost innocent, but inside contained the words 'I'm sorry, but I think you might be the loser.' I scratched my head? What had I entered and what had I lost? Suddenly it dawned the Crap Game contest, but how had I lost, my game wasn't too crap, in fact, I had polished it, improved it, and even started to take a little pride in it. Well, that is exactly the way to lose a Crap Game contest. I hadn't read the golden rules  and as a result, had broken most of them. I wasn't alone, looking back over the entries there were some very good games in the mix. Games that had a polish far beyond the Advanced Lawnmower Simulator. Games I would have happily paid 1.99 for at the local newsagent. So far this has been a...
Read more

Advanced Pondering The Orb Simulator - Jim Waterman

Image
To prove I can follow instructions I turned off fast load for this one. "Do not fail to load this at normal speed, though, because I had to use some interesting trickery to get the loading screen to appear in the way I did! And, the chances are, it'll take longer to load overall than it will to see everything in the game." Even at normal speed, it is necessary not to blink. For a brief second a screen with A O P S appears Before blending into the image from the cover of A Spy in Isengard which spawned a multitude of memes around orb pondering. The email promised me "You'll play it once to lose, once again to win, that's your lot.". Since I only read the email before loading I wasn't sure what to do at this point. I poked around at various keys with no result. Maybe this was after all a genuine Niksen simulator? I left it running in the background while performing a couple of chores, suddenly there was a fuzzy crackling and the emulator reset. What th...
Read more

Hard Core Hangman - Jamie Bradbury

Image
Well, this is a surprise, not even officially started the job role and there is an entry in my mailbox. I suspect poor Jamie has a year's worth of pent-up crap to purge. No doubt in a year I'll be in a similar position.  The game needs no explaining, it is Hangman. The game that provided hours of fun as a child, arguing about how many parts the hangman's scaffold should have. My sister always insisted on four, base, upright, arm, and a rope. My friends were more accommodating with extensive bracing and fancy additions. Jamie's version was acc om panied by an email which will help to just the crapness or not of this game. The opening is very promising " This is an adaptation of an example program - think it is in the Spectrum manual.". Stealing someone else's code is a great start on the journey of crapness, but admitting to it? Not so much so. How does this game measure up to the four criteria I'm using to judge. Technical Ingenuity - 75% The game is w...
Read more