Porridge Roulette - Dave Hughes

 The Internet is full of rabbit holes and thanks to Dave's latest entry I have been vanishing down a few of them. Before taking you with me let's look at Dave's entry. 

Even before it arrived there were queries on the Spectrum Computing Forum as below

"I can't see in the rules - will you be strictly enforcing the 'game' aspect, or are crap utilities and demos allowed? Ideas are starting to crystallise* and I want to check what's viable."

Having decided that non-games would still be judged albeit in a different category I received an email with a tap file attached for a game called Porridge Roulette. The email didn't fill me with confidence from the opening line,

"For some reason I compiled a massive list of foods (from https://world.openfoodfacts.org/entry-date/2016-08/ingredients) and turned it into a roulette game where the chosen ingredient has to be served with porridge."

to the closing line

"Sorry :)"

So what exactly did I receive in the tap file. A 19-line BASIC program most of which is dedicated to presenting the end user with the premise of the game and instructions on how to play. There is a much weightier 26,537 byte file which contains the list of ingredients. Needless to say, not all of the ingredients can be found on the Open Food database and I'm very confident the vast majority have never graced the insides of my kitchen cupboards.

The game opens with a quote from the venerable Samuel Johnson.

While printing this up the game attempts to raise the excitement levels with the use of flash and a couple of sections of beeper music which either I was not attuned to or was fairly random (apologies if it was actually Browoviches 17th symphony and I totally missed it).

Game play is simple from the opening screen you only need to press any key to start playing.

Beneath three very attractive graphics a bewildering choice of ingredients flash by, too fast to read them all but slow enough to spot one or two. Pressing any key presents you with your choice of ingredient to mix with your porridge. Excited? There is more at this point you get the option to stick or twist, you can keep your choice by pressing Y or go again by pressing N.

Choices range from decidedly weird to totally impossible. But sometimes it comes up with a choice that makes you pause and think that could work.

Once happy with your choice you can click N and you will be faced with the instructions to go off and make it.

I suspect that every choice will be considered a good choice. On the odd occasion, I found myself actually tempted to try the suggestions. As Dave says,

"In fact a lot of the combinations are actually good ideas! So while it's an absorbing game, it's also an exciting utility for pushing culinary frontiers."

Thinking of pushing culinary frontiers I immediately thought of Mrs Beaton, Goddess of the kitchen decades before Nigella. That led to the first Internet rabbit hole. Wikipedia font of all knowledge startled me with the fact that although she died in 1865 her famous book Mrs. Beeton's Book of Household Management continued to expand for several more decades. The 1906 edition had 3,931 recipes and was twice the size of the previous edition. However, she only has one recipe for porridge

"OATMEAL PORRIDGE.

Ingredients.—Oatmeal, salt, water.

Method.—There are several ways of making porridge. The one generally adopted—although by no means the best—is to sprinkle the oatmeal into boiling, slightly salted water with the left hand, meanwhile stirring briskly with a wooden spoon or wooden spatula. When the porridge is thick enough, the stewpan is drawn to the side of the fire, and the contents, slowly cooked from 20 to 30 minutes, being occasionally stirred to prevent it sticking to the bottom of the pan. A better method is to soak 4 oz. of oatmeal in 1½ pints of cold water overnight, and in the morning strain the water into a stewpan, and when boiling add the oatmeal, and salt to taste. Twenty minutes' gentle simmering will sufficiently cook it, and it must be well stirred during the process. Probably the best plan of all is to use a water-jacketed saucepan for making porridge, for it is always desirable to have oatmeal thoroughly cooked, and as the water in the outer pan obviates the necessity of frequent stirring, the porridge may, with little trouble, be cooked for 2 or 3 hours on the previous day, and reheated when required; a pinch of salt should always be added to the porridge. There are 3 varieties of oatmeal—coarse, medium, and fine; any kind may be used for making porridge, but coarse oatmeal is generally preferred."

Dave's utility would therefore have been a wonder in the 1800's adding vastly to the experience of mankind. Dave's utility has something in common with the great Mrs Beaton, the Wikipedia author has this to say about her cooking

"Even with the emphasis on food, some of her cooking advice is so odd as to suggest that she had little experience preparing meals." - Wikipedia

Equally this game/utility does throw up some odd choices. Which led me down the next rabbit hole, a contest between ChatGPT and Porridge Roulette. ChatGPT came back with these flavouring options

1. Fresh Fruits:

   • Sliced bananas
   • Berries (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries)
   • Sliced apples or pears
   • Chopped mango or pineapple

2. Dried Fruits:

   • Raisins
   • Cranberries
   • Apricots
   • Dates

3. Nuts and Seeds:

   • Chopped almonds
   • Walnuts
   • Pecans
   • Chia seeds
   • Flaxseeds

4. Sweeteners:

   • Honey
   • Maple syrup
   • Agave nectar
   • Brown sugar
   • Cinnamon sugar

5. Spices:

   • Cinnamon
   • Nutmeg
   • Vanilla extract
   • Cardamom
   • Ginger

6. Dairy or Non-Dairy Additions:

   • Milk (dairy or plant-based alternatives like almond, soy, or oat milk)
   • Yogurt
   • Coconut milk or cream

7. Flavor Extracts:

   • Almond extract
   • Coconut extract
   • Orange extract

8. Savory Options:

   • Cheese (cheddar, parmesan)
   • Poached or fried egg
   • Crumbled bacon

9. Protein Boosters:

   • Nut butter (peanut butter, almond butter)
   • Protein powder
   • Greek yogurt

10. Toppings:

• Granola
• Shredded coconut
• Dark chocolate chips
• Sprinkle of your favorite cereal

Compared to offerings of Beef or Chicken Skin, it goes to prove that AI has no imagination. So how does this game/utility rate and is it a game or a utility?

Technical Ingenuity - 80%

Although the front end in coded in basic, the randomiser is machine code and the list of ingredients is stored in machine code. This is not a game you can easily break into and add 'Grandpa's Poots' to as an option. This instantly raises it to superior levels of programming. The basic code uses a nice little gosub routine to draw the reusable graphics. Thought has gone into this. Is basic the correct choice for the front end? The answer is yes, there would be no necessary speed-up gained by pure machine code.

Achievement - 45%

This one is tougher, what is the author trying to achieve? Initially, it appears to have been a utility designed to give porridge serving suggestions. As a utility it would be pretty crap, utterly light on the necessary details. Take for example the option of chicken skin, should that be cooked or raw? Raw would be a health hazard but with such details lacking there is a large risk of poisoning your end users.

But the addition of roulette to the title and Dave describing it as an absorbing game means it needs weighing up for its gaming achievement. Here it begins to shine, it has potential as a game for drunken evenings, a group of friends, a large pot of hot porridge, and a random selection of ingredients. The problem is no one is going to have a random selection of ingredients that match the range this game produces.

Fun - 80%

Let's face the truth, it is fun. Any game that spews utter nonsense interspersed with odd moments of genius is going to be fun. Yes, I sat there repeatedly spinning new combinations.

Crap Factor - 61.7%

So it comes down to the crap factor. Would I be disappointed if I bought the game? No, solely because there is no way in hell I would have parted with money for it. Would I be disappointed if it was included in a tape of greatest hits or a Woot Xmas collection, hell no. I love it for the graphics if nothing else. The largest negative is the fact that having made your choice you need to reload the whole game again to play again (supposing you are unable to break and re-run)  and for a drinking evening that is a whole lot of reloads.

Take away

This game has a lot of potential, ability to replay would make a good addition. As would a more achievable though still outlandish list of ingredients. But it has the undefinable quality that makes it fun, however limited. Dave ended his email with a challenge

"PS - I'll cook one of the more 'out-there' ones if you do."

You are on Dave, and normally I would end by saying remember I have played this game so you don't have to. This time I encourage you to play and to share photos of the resulting culinary delights on the forum. You can try Porridge Roulette here.