If you thought 2023 was crap, think again!

This is a diving-themed game. There's no way you would know that, of course. There is nothing in the gameplay or the visuals to suggest anything water related. Is there something fishy going on here? No. Playing it as a purely abstract game then, it plays like this : Your little UDG character moves around in 4 directions and can shoot. There are 3 circles moving left to right, which can be shot. ( Unless the collision detection fails ) You score points by shooting the circles. The number of points scored depends on mysterious factors. The game ends if you shoot all the circles. You don't get points for the final circle. That seems like a bug. All the while, a uppercase D moves around in 4 directions sort of randomly. Your little character dies if the D touches him. ( Unless the collision detection fails ) There is a time limit. The collision detection is terrible, and it isn't much fun. BUT! Look! Literal moments of effort on display here. The elaborate splash screen has

Unrelated Introduction The Rosetta Stone is inscribed with three versions of a decree issued in 196 BC during the Ptolemaic dynasty of Egypt, on behalf of King Ptolemy V Epiphanes. The top and middle texts are in Ancient Egyptian using hieroglyphic and Demotic scripts, respectively, while the bottom is in Ancient Greek. The decree has only minor differences across the three versions, making the Rosetta Stone key to deciphering the Egyptian scripts. Now if you were going to make a spectrum basic game based on the Rosetta stone, just imagine how many user defined graphics you would need for the hieroglyphs. Loads! Even modern languages can require a suite of UGD to represent all the letter types not found the the UK alphabet. The actual game So this limitation is perhaps why Dave Hughes decided to take a slightly simplified approach with his game LinguaFranKEYS, which has nothing to do with the Rosetta Stone. This is a game where you have to learn the words for up, down, left, right, p

 The email accompanying this entry promises a thrilling rally game. " Take on the desert in DESERT RALLY, an 80s-style game with simple "O" and "P" controls. Dodge cacti and camels in a clunky car that’s more grit than glamour, in a 12-direction driving challenge that’s as unforgiving as it is addictive." Like the previous entry from ZX Kerl we have a range of cassette covers And a poster which adds to the promise of a bare-knuckle ride through the perils of the desert. The only real question is how does the game measure up to the promise of the marketing materials? For a start there is no loading screen which is a pity I would love to see a Grongy take on either of the cassette covers. Instead the game loads straight into the instructions for play with a tasteful choice of colours. For some reason there is a prompt to enter a Level, though nothing to tell me what this is for. Left to my own devices I enter 'One' which instantly throws 2 Variable n

 This game starts with green text on a black background, with the single word 'WHY?', instantly this brings back the words of the infamous Agent Smith. “Why, Mr. Anderson?, Why, why?.Why do you do it? Why, why get up?. Why keep fighting?.Do you believe you're fighting...for something?. For more than your survival?.Can you tell me what it is?.Do you even know?; Is it freedom?, Or truth?.Perhaps peace?. Could it be for love?" The intro to the games throws out even more why questions. WHY is there a grid falling from the skies onto the city of  St Scar Taspringyassyar Lakebar? WHY are there strange monsters running down the grid and killing everyone? WHY has someone completely unqualified as a heavy gunner like yourself been chosen to defend the place? WHY are you even reading what an ascii chicken is saying? The question about why has someone completely unqualified been chosen was particularly apt as I started the game without paying attention to the keyboard layout (O,

 The email with this entry opens confidently declaring "Hello, This is the winning entry for the CSSCGC 2024!" At this point, I wonder if I should even bother to do a review or just end the contest here. To save protests about rigged results and stolen competitions I'll load it up and check if it is in fact the winning entry. Like all Firelord productions, it comes with a vast manual and other paperwork which will be included in the download for your pleasure. Promises made by the promotional blurb include "- **Epic Showdowns**: Challenge your friends or the unpredictable Spectrum in a battle of wits and libations! Can you outdrink your buddy without going overboard? Only one way to find out! - **Educational & Fun**: Learn about drinks from around the world while developing your strategic skills. Who knew gaming could be so enlightening? (Disclaimer: May not actually improve your drinking skills!) - **Vibrant Retro Graphics**: Immerse yourself in a colourful, nos

 There was a period before digital downloads when you used to buy a computer game and it would come in a box with a massive manual full of instructions on gameplay. Usually, I got bored early on and tried playing first, falling back to the manual when I couldn't figure things out.  Some of the entries to this competition have been similar with extensive extra information. Others have preferred to provide instructions in game. This game walks its own path. The accompanying email provides little information about what to expect. " Attached is GUESS THE ASTEROIDS for the CGC, along with an image of the cassette release. I'm afraid it's not possible to save the Earth. I could have stopped launching asteroids after scoring 70 points, but I guess it's 1982 and the technology wasn't ready to stop such an Armageddon." But before continuing, let's pause to admire the image of the cassette release or in actuality images. So many versions and every cover is a del

We like to romanticise the ‘Tortured Artist’ trope. Van Gogh, Munch and Caravaggio[1] were all famous arts soles, whose colourful biographies dramatically threaten to eclipse their art. At the other end of the scale there’s something exciting and mysterious about anonymous artists - the NWFS Cerne Abbas Giant , beautiful Palaeolithic CavePaintings or… the unfamous Banksy[3]. So – to Dave Hughe’s CCSCGC2024 entry BankZXy... Welcome to Bristol, where you guide the famous graffiti artist/vandal around the town, spraying like a stressed cat particularly intent on marking territory. The loading screen gives a good overview of the gameplay, so … … which is nice, isn’t it?[4] The gameplay involves moving your UDG Banksy around, pursued by the asterisk. Hold space to leave your ‘tag’ on the floor. The pursuing asterisk has an aversion to walking on your graffiti, so this can be used to your advantage to complete the game and thus get to reveal Banksy’s secret identity. As far as it goes, the